By Hucky Austin
I know that in your mind you think you are the perfect fit for Tiger Media International. Yet, you failed to mention what you are applying for; was it the janitor, the receptionist or the executive protection position?
By the way, my name is spelled “Thompson” and since I am a male, I was a little put off by the fact that you addressed me as “Ms. Leslie Thompson.” I suppose my first name threw you off. I suppose somebody didn’t do their research prior to submitting their materials.
Speaking of research, you mentioned that you “love to work with animals.” Our business, Tiger Media International, is a public relations marketing firm. No tigers. Or lions. Or bears.
By the time I got to the end of your resume (all six pages, 10-point Frenchy Script) I understood that you were interested in the Executive Protection position which was posted online. In that advertisement, I specifically requested that only individuals who speak and write fluent Spanish submit a resume. While your cover letter started with the greeting “Ola” and you sprinkled in words like “caliente” (3 times) and closed with “muchos gracias,” nowhere on your resume does it indicate that you actually speak Spanish.
Your resume painted quite a detailed portrait of you. Who knew a child could make that much in lemonade sales? And the three months you worked at Taco Gringo in 1998; you seem to feel that experience relates to this job. I can’t see it. But I’m glad you can. Oh, wait. Does that have something to do with speaking Spanish?
The job advertisement indicated that 50% of the job would require international travel, accompanying our top executive on business trips. It appears you don’t have a passport, have never negotiated an airport with a VIP, speak any foreign languages, or are even available to travel. I noticed your cover letter didn’t address this important job requirement, or how you felt about it.